The “To 2020 and Beyond” Plan:
I love lists. I make lists of chores, lists of groceries, lists of things to pack, lists of work to get done, lists of books I want to read—lists, and lists, and lists. Netflix regularly reminds me I’m not allowed to have more than 500 movies in my DVD queue (this is in addition to everything I want to watch that’s streaming), and my Amazon Wish List is a constantly cycling idea bin, including hoodies, kitchen equipment, gifts for other people, and authors’ names I want to remember, as well as, you know, books and stuff.
But sometimes the lists get to be too much, and I miss something. That’s when a visual reminder can really help out, and this is probably why this infographic from Comics Alliance about the “Supermovies” that are all slated to debut between now and 2020 is probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m using it to map my life moving forward.
Let’s start in 2015—beginning in January, obviously I will need to be building up five months of cardio in order to healthily sustain my levels of excitement for the May 1 release of Avengers: Age of Ultron. I’m breathing a little harder just thinking of it now. Run a mile, watch the trailer, repeat until those Marvel logo pages start to actually flip by on the cinema screen. I also probably need to acquire my tickets now.
The Superhero Spectrum
Next, move into a more cool down phase for the July 17 release of Ant-Man. Although the exit of Edgar Wright from this movie has dimmed its luster a little, I’m still excited, but I don’t think endurance-level training is quite as necessary. Unless I’m still seeing Age of Ultron in theaters at this point, which certainly seems possible. (Continued jumping jacks and lunges.) After this, supermovie-wise, 2015 slides by (with a brief blip of the Fantastic Four reboot on August 7. I love Miles Teller (see Whiplash!), so I’ll reserve harsh judgment… for now). Maybe I should plan a life event—like a trip to Europe or seeing other family members—for this dead movie space.
In 2016, things start to heat up again. I know the studio seems leery of this Deadpool movie (scheduled for a February 12 release), but unless circumstances are dire, I’m so there. March 25 brings (the gunshy?) Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. This movie already backed down from going head-to-head with Captain America 3, and I never saw Man of Steel. So, my post-February 12, 2016 will likely be looking up Wikipedia articles to fill myself in on the story and watching Argo enough times to figure out if I really want in on this version of the DC Universe. Clearly, I will be seeing Captain America: Civil War on May 6, and I might just try to sleep at the theater until May 27, when X-Men: Apocalypse comes out. Seems like it would save some time. Suicide Squad shows up on August 5, giving me just enough time to figure out exactly the Suicide Squad’s worth before leaping to November 4’s Dr. Strange.
At this point, in order to help leech some of the buttery popcorn topping from my system, my next must-movie destination isn’t until spring/summer 2017—May 5, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, followed in quick succession by Wonder Woman (June 23) and Thor: Ragnarok (July 28). Maybe during the winter of 2016, I’ll climb Everest in order to build up needed stamina for this supermovie stretch. I will then allow for a brief period of rest and possibly work until November 3’s Black Panther and November 17’s Justice League 1. By this point, I plan to know the names of all the ushers in my local multiplex, and we will have a hand signal where they just allow me into the theater unbidden. They already have all my money anyway.
And OK, I’m skipping the Sony-Columbia movies here. But that studio collaboration has proven itself unreliable, and my “To 2020 and Beyond Plan” doesn’t allow for instability. I’ll try to stay flexible, but, for now, cinematically at least, Spider-Man and I are on a break.
Conan, G of T, Stargate Atlantis and Aquaman? Thank god the Hoff taught me how to swim!!
For 2018, depending how Justice League goes down, I may start with The Flash on March 23. We’ll see if I’m into the TV show at that point, and if the two co-existing universes would scramble my already-probably-mushy brain. Then, with the entire rest of the world, I will sleep on a sidewalk outside a movie theater for five days beforehand in order to see Avengers: Infinity War 1 on May 4. Unfortunately, I don’t think even my now legendary usher ties will help me get in early for this one. Captain Marvel shows up on July 6, and I will insist on every female I know going to this movie no matter what. Grandma, I hope you’re ready. As long as Jennifer Lawrence is still around, I’m still going to see the untitled X-Men project on July 13 too, and Aquaman sweeps in on July 27. Even if all the other DC Universe movies up to this point have disappointed me, I am loyal to Khal Drogo. Then I can probably get some rest for a few months until Inhumans comes out on November 2. Or maybe I’ll skip Inhumans opening night. We’ll see how shaped like a movie-theater chair I am at that point.
2019, so far, is mostly a showdown between Avengers: Infinity War 2 (May 3) and Justice League 2 (June 14), with a touch of Shazam on April 5 (although The Rock possibly will have actually literally exploded by this time). I will make Avengers and Justice League fight for my love weekly throughout this summer. Or maybe this is the year I will try to attempt to reconnect with other human lives and discuss something that isn’t supermovie-related? Let me know if you think that’s a good idea, because I’m on the fence (Editor’s Note: Bad Idea about the puny humans – Mike Smash!).
And 2020 is currently only showing up with Cyborg on April 3 and Green Lantern on June 19, but it’s possible that every movie will have turned into a superhero franchise by then. Hope you’re ready for a Caped Crusader reboot with Meryl Streep as the lead. Or maybe by 2020, we can finally get Donald Glover as Spider-Man. And is nine years really long enough to wash away the bad taste of The Movie That Shall Not Be Named from 2011?
The Comics Alliance infographic also points to some supermovies that are being developed but shockingly don’t have release dates yet, including X-Force, Sandman, and Justice League Dark. Seriously, can’t we get some dates on these already? How complex and difficult and ridiculously hard can good moviemaking development really be? And how am I supposed to be ready for these unless they are announced at least five years in advance? I have movie theater circuits to cruise and ushers to befriend.
So, what’s your To 2020 and Beyond Plan? Because you have to be ready. I’m doing crunches starting… now!